I have been a 'performer' since 6. Always been on the stage, for good reason.
K2 graduation- We had a group dance, and I was one of the cheerleader in the dance. P1 year end- Proud to say that I went up the stage to collect prize for bring top 2nd in class plus, a group couple dance after that. P4- Dont know for what reason, I was in the angklung group, performing for I dont know why. P6- 3rd in class, collect some prize. Sec1 to 4- As I was in choir, performing is what we did. School programmes, Sec 1 and 3 concert performances, competitions. JC1 & 2 - Yea...Choir, cant 'live' without the stage. MC days - Some event at TPY central. First time performing on stage alone. Hands shook like mad. And a group competition performance that won us some...weird creams. And TMR- First time in my life, orchestra performance.
Except for the first 2 stage experiences where my parents came, the rest, I performed for people I dont know. Audiences are either made to sit there, or they are there for others. Anyone but me. I didnt asked any of my friends to watch any of the performances mainly because they are on stage with me, or...they dont like to watch these kinda things..or maybe, I presumed they dont know about it.
The applause seemed as though they werent meant for me, not for me alone, I just happened to be on the same stage as them. But I felt warm nevertheless. Applauds always send tinkling feeling down my spine, which made me feel good.
So for TMR, similarly, 没有专属观众,没有专属掌声，只有沾旁人之光的掌声。 No matter how strongly I feel about the redundancy of people wanting to watch me (cuz Im on the first n last item)，I still wish there is.... Someone I can share my excitement with, and not just go home quietly back home alone.
